I'm Sorry - a post for #tbt

The new life one without parents or responsibility, no rules applied. The one you dream about when you're in school, where you can do or say anything you want. A place where no one can tell you there are too many band posters hanging up because they are hanging in almost every room of the house. No one tells you what time to go to sleep or what time to wake up. The only thing that is asked of you is to pay part of the phone bill and to contribute for food.
However, I should say this I learned a lot while living with Diana and Janet. I learned a lot about myself and living with others.  Really I guess we all learned. When I graduated high school I weighed 185 pounds. When I moved from living with them I was at 135 pounds. Was it diet? I don’t think so and I know it wasn't exercised either. It was that for the first time in my life I actually liked myself and was not surrounded by negative stuff. I was allowed to be me and that was the only person I had to please.
When I first moved in Diana asked me something. “Why do you say I am sorry all the time?”
I looked at her funny. What was she talking about? I didn’t do that. At least I didn’t think I did. She was right as she made mention of it every time I did it. When she posed the question again as to why it made me think. The more I thought about it I began to realize that is how I was programmed by my mother. Since the divorce, I had taken it upon myself to say sorry for everything that was wrong in our lives even though I may have had nothing to do with it. My mother never stopped me. I guess it made her feel better that someone else was taking the responsibility away from her. This was the first lesson I learned about me.
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