Sometimes Life Seems Like a Movie.

Easter with the family, seemed almost like a National Lampoon movie. (Mind you, I've never heard of a family Easter movie but if there was one, yesterday would have been it.) We all went over to my Hubby's folk’s house to a pot luck dinner. His Dad made a Ham and we all brought a little something for a nice pot luck meal, so far so good.

We live the closet but we got there last, yet we were still on time. When we got there my Father-in-law seemed a little out of sorts. Confused about the groceries we brought for him, that we had discussed two weeks earlier. I'm sure with all the stress of having the family over he may just be a little out of it. No big deal. (But I will follow up and check on him.)

Anyway, how awkward is it to walk in a room and notice that your sister-in-law's husband is missing and he isn't in the bathroom. You've known that there has been trouble but it was a secret to the folks. I guess the cats out of the bag now and on a holiday no less. Awkward! I think what was more uncomfortable was the fact that my mother-in-law and sister-in-law are discussing this in front of my ten year old niece. While I appreciate the honest conversation and not sugar coating things, when the conversation turns to the fact that it appears the brother-in-law seems like he wants to be in a casket, well that bothers me.

We get past that and have a somewhat nice meal. My hubby was upset with his mother as she was making his dad feed her. (Her sight hasn't recovered. However, last time we were over there she couldn't see and she was capable of feeding herself.) As we are sitting there she blurts out that she can see fireworks. It's sunny out and there are no fireworks. We try and explain that there is nothing and sometimes an eye can give off a color prism. She isn't buying it. Hubby who is blind in his left eye tells her, he has this experience. It didn't matter. So as we are sitting there my husband starts going "OOOOO!AAHHH!"; as, if he were watching fireworks. My other sister-in-law was trying not to laugh. We all were.

Now my father-in-law has been a saint with her for the last five years. He has gone above and beyond to take care of her. On May 10th they will be married 60 years and which is awesome. That is why I shake my head at what the end of our little visit held.

As my father-in-law sat in the kitchen with hubby's brother we all joined my mother-in-law in the living room. (Before I continue I should say this little get together was at four in the afternoon. It should’ve been much earlier as I do believe my mother-in-law was sun downing.) As we are sitting there she starts railing on her husband about how he is inconsiderate of her. She is complaining that he moves the walker away from her after she is in her chair. (There is a reason, she fell down and broke her leg earlier this year.)
Then she starts complaining because the state took her license away. She thought this was the worst thing in the world. No matter how her kids tried to explain that she couldn't see anything and she shouldn't be driving, she didn't want to hear it.

After she was done with that she started making up stories about things that hadn't happened and the neighbor's music that’s played 24/7. There was no music. (I told my husband maybe she has a song stuck in her head and because she is confused she thinks someone is playing music.) She then stated that she had made her daughter a purse yesterday and someone broke in and destroyed it. This time it wasn’t the neighborhood lady with her bubble gum key.

When she was done with this she started in on her husband again and I tried to explain to her that he has done a lot for her. He isn't in the best health, yet he brought her home so she would be happy. I flat out told her that if he didn't love her, he would have left her in the Nursing Home. She said she knew he loved her but then her next breath she was on the attack. My husband left the room fifteen minutes, before I did.

It's hard to watch someone turn into a person you don't recognize. I'm sure someone looking from the outside in would've found some of this amusing and honestly some of it was funny. The truth of the matter is I see my mother-in-law slipping away.

Last night, when we got home, I thought about the last conversation I had had with my Grandmother. It was a conversation that I wasn't proud of but my husband was in the hospital and she was fine. She told me I didn't love her. I told her I did and that my place was with my husband and if the situation was reversed she would’ve been by her husband's side. I told her I loved her. As I think back to all the times when I was single and she had clung to life I wondered how she had made it through. Looking back though, I know she wasn't ready to go. She had been waiting for me to find someone. In that last call she knew I was going to be okay. I had my husband.

So what does this have to do with my mother-in-law? I'm slowly coming to the realization that maybe all the nastiness is her way of pushing all of us away. Picking fights with her hubby bashing him to us. Maybe we will all just walk away making it easier for her to let go.

(I feel I should add this. I’m not in total denial. I know she has some ailments that will not be addressed as my father-in-law feels he can handle it. Even if they were diagnosed I’m not even sure medication could help her. The toxins in her system from kidney issues have only complicated some of this.)

Comments

Popular Posts