Confessions of a Hoarder

Most everyone has seen Clean House or other shows like this and I know most people can't understand why or how someone can live like this. My house isn't as bad as those houses but then neither is it as clean as the average persons. The big question I always hear on these shows is how do you let it get to be like this? My case we have health issues. We do what we can. I've had many family members and friends offer to help but the truth is this is my mess. I made it and I will take care of it. Which we are doing now.

As we had a garage sale last week, we came to realize that we have bought a lot of things in the past that we didn't need but it looked cool or it might be useful. Now it sits in a pile for a garage sale.

The heart of the matter though is something from me being a child. I once had a playroom my own bedroom and a shed outside with toys and things. When we moved in with my grandparents after my parents split most of my stuff was packed away in boxes for me never to see again. Even as we moved nothing was ever fully unpacked there was always boxes. As a teen when I finally had my own room again, I still managed to have boxes in my closet. Why did I still have things packed?

Through out my adult life the boxes have remained. In fact I had boxes in a storage shed for ten years. It was known as the Tomb. It had my stuff, the ex hubby, my mom who had passed and my two step daughters things as well. When I finally excavated I got rid of most of the things. I even wrote a pretty cool piece about the emotion of it all. I digress. The other day as we sat outside our garage I thought how we had created another tomb. My hubby always being in touch with me verbalized what I was thinking. So why is it that I have a need for these boxes? Is it a way of being ready to move? Is it a way of keeping the things that I don't want to deal with at bay? I finally started going through my Grandmother's clothes the other day. They have been in her bedroom for three years yet I couldn't face it. Now, I'm doing it.

So, I'm a hoarder and I'm trying to change. Our pets are taken care of and their litter boxes are changed. We have lived here five years and there are daily places that are clean. Some would say they couldn't believe we live like this and to them I'm sorry you disapprove. Just remember though you don't have my life. You are able and healthy well most of you are anyway. And if my house matters more to you then me as a person well I guess that is you deal too. Any way one day hopefully soon our house will be better then it has ever been.It will be that Clean House.


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