The weigh in

OK,before I get to the embarrassment that my weight is. There are a few things I want to say.

Firstly, I'd like to go back to when I learned some of my habits. When we are kids we learn our relationship with food. We learn if from our parents, our extended families and even our friends. (Now, all that being said I'm not saying we can't change it.)

Growing up I came from the family that made sure you cleaned your plate as there were other people who are starving. Then of course since my dad was a fireman we tended to eat rather quickly so this was something that we adopted at home as well.

What I learned from my mother was a lesson I wished I hadn't food was her comfort. When things were bad she would go to Mackenzie's bakery and by eclairs, cream puffs or a custard pie. She started doing this after she and my dad split. In a way at times it seemed as if she were proud of her accomplishment of eating a whole custard pie.

So as an adult in tough times I have found comfort in food. Sitting down with a pint of Ben & Jerry's Chubby Hubby wasn't inconceivable. It was almost if my body craved the sweetness and the cold for comfort. This is not something I'm proud of but I'm willing to admit I did it.

I've talked about the food issues but there is something else in the weight department.
These are two common things I have heard from people who have had issues with their weight..
"You would be so pretty if you just lost some weight."
"When I look back at pictures 20 years ago I use to think I was fat but now I see how skinny I truly was."

Because we were told certain things we took them to heart and no matter how thin we were it wasn't good enough for others. My step-father use to call me Miss Pouch. For a girl in her junior year in high school that just had a little belly this was unnerving. Then toss on my mother's comment "You would be so pretty blah, blah, blah." This doesn't do much for the ego.

When I entered high school I was 135lbs. This was not atrocious. When I left high school I was 180. Gee, think stress might have been part of that as well we must give puberty its due credit.

Me two months after High School Graduation.

Any way when I moved out(which is a story in itself)and moved in with two friends the weight came off effortlessly. We weren't exercising, all though we did have stairs in the house. We ate garbage. We practically had pizza every night a bag of Oreos, Cool Ranch Doritos and to top it off a two liter of Coke. We split this among the three of us and we didn't eat a lot during the day. There was nothing healthy to our diet or our lifestyle yet when I moved back home for a brief stint I was back to 135lbs. My mother thought I looked gaunt.

OK,so what is my point in all of this, you may ask. Well,this is more then a battle with food. Most people who have a weight issue that is not related to health have something else going on. I remember having a gym membership as young as seventh grade and trust me I wasn't fat then. However, my ex-teacher who I was living with (that shall remain nameless for the time being)thought my friend Sheryl and I should loose some weight. Yeah,it started that early. We were growing girls and I even played sports at school. However, someone thought that I needed to loose weight.

I guess I rambled on enough and made excuses. Here it is today May 28,2009, I currently weigh 267.8 pounds. Am I proud of it, Hell No! But it is who I am right now. So each week I will reveal how much I've lost or not lost. This will not be easy to loose the weight but right now it is part of getting me a little healthier.


Popular Posts